Word of advice: If someone ever says to you, "Hey, smell this!"... DON'T!
I guess I could talk (ahem, or type) a little bit about my mania. In the early years I did not know I was going through mania, but once I was diagnosed Bipolar I was able to see it.
There's nothing special. I don't hear voices. I don't get uncontrollable urges to spend money or go on vacations or anything like that. I used to go out dancing and drinking, going to male revues, laughing at everything, making (sometimes inappropriate) jokes. Laugh uncontrollably for absolutely no reason until I am in tears. I had to leave work twice because of that. I remember for my 30th birthday (about 6 years into bipolar hell), a bunch of friends from my good job threw me a bday party at a local restaurant/bar. I was getting free drinks from men all night because I was telling everyone it was my 21st bday. "What kind of drink is that? I've never had that before." "Well you gotta try it, here, I'll buy you one." "Wow, thanks!" When I wasn't hitting on guys for free drinks, I was on the dance floor (or table, but I was dragged down from there). Although I was the only one dancing, it didn't bother me at all. I walked up to some guy, told him it was my birthday and planted a big kiss on him. I know, it just sounds like a fun night of getting trashed, I wasn't that bad. I used to be able to hold my liquor and I was sharing my free drinks with the hubbs and my other friends so I didn't get that drunk.
Another time I was out with friends after a male revue. We were on the dance floor and some little freak came up to me and started hitting on me. So I said, "I'm with her" and kissed one of my friends. No drinking at all that night - I was driving.
Now-a-days I don't really go out. No friends to go out with. But I still get silly, tell dirty jokes, have "energy spurts" that I do absolutely nothing productive with, call my bestie, John, to make lunch plans then cancel on him because I'm usually in my pit by the time the plans come around. My family says, "Mom's filter is broken again!" during these times because I will most likely say something inappropriate in front of them. Nothing really bad, but for instance I may let the word "ass" slip in front of them. But the family loves it when I'm manic. Happy Fun Energetic Great Mood "You wanna go where? SURE!"
So see - nothing bad. I really enjoy it but for some reason my docs think I need mood stabilizers to keep me from getting manic. I tell them, "But I really like being manic". Doesn't work. Are there meds that keep you out of the lows but don't stop you from the highs? I have no idea.
Bring on the mania!
No comments:
Post a Comment