Funnies

So I feel like my entire blog is basically a bitch fest.  Although yesterday thoroughly sucked, I thought I would post some funnies I've found on different sites on the internet.  My mood yesterday was a low 2 but this am I'm feeling like a high 3!  I'd like to keep it that way, at least for a day.  Enjoy! 

Writing a good suicide note is hard, especially if you don't know that person's handwriting.

At Lowes. Nothing makes me feel better than completing a project around the house. Now where do they keep the day laborers?

I have come to the conclusion that "Do Not Mix With Alcohol" is more of a suggestion.

According to TV ads, you're depression-free when you feel like bringing your husband a fruit platter.

I'm not sure whether I'm an optimist or a pessimist. The glass stays in the cupboard and I drink from the bottle.

This hooker doesn’t find dead hooker jokes near as funny as I do.

Is It Just Me Or Does Anybody Else Also Think That All Clowns Look Like Molesters?

 If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you can see this, thank Al Gore. If you can hear this, thank the LSD.

On the bright side, at least we aren't the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.

OK, the bar is closing.  Do I go home to my wife or my girlfriend?

So, I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results, he said, "You aren't sick but you are currently drunk."

Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen, holding hands and thanking God for the beer.

I guess that is enough for now.  Enjoy your day!